“Don’t worry,” she told Caitlyn as she cut out eyeholes (ghost costumes had to have eyeholes, after all, even if you could see through the thin white sheet), “if your parents get mad I’ll give you one of my sheets to make up for it.”
Here, there isn't really an incongruity between the dialogue and the action. But both of them together speak of an older child to me. She seems like an oldest sibling, a bit of a mother hen, someone who is going to take care of the younger kids. It's the calmness in that statement and the actions.
Caitlyn wiggled over so she could dart in and peck a kiss on Daniel’s cheek. It was the first time she had done that. Daniel immediately covered his face with his hands.
This just seems like something an older but still little girl would do to a younger boy, and it doesn't really match with Caitlin's dialogue, which seems like that of a younger girl.
In contrast, I really love Daniel's action here. It's so "little boy". And you've done really well in choosing the name Daniel here, even if it was not intentional. It evokes the image of a peaceful, trusting person.
“Cate and me’ll beat them up,” Jackie said loudly. “We won’t let anyone laugh at you. Best friends don’t do that.”
When I read this, I went back because I questioned whether this was the same character as in the beginning.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 04:05 am (UTC)Here, there isn't really an incongruity between the dialogue and the action. But both of them together speak of an older child to me. She seems like an oldest sibling, a bit of a mother hen, someone who is going to take care of the younger kids. It's the calmness in that statement and the actions.
Caitlyn wiggled over so she could dart in and peck a kiss on Daniel’s cheek. It was the first time she had done that. Daniel immediately covered his face with his hands.
This just seems like something an older but still little girl would do to a younger boy, and it doesn't really match with Caitlin's dialogue, which seems like that of a younger girl.
In contrast, I really love Daniel's action here. It's so "little boy". And you've done really well in choosing the name Daniel here, even if it was not intentional. It evokes the image of a peaceful, trusting person.
“Cate and me’ll beat them up,” Jackie said loudly. “We won’t let anyone laugh at you. Best friends don’t do that.”
When I read this, I went back because I questioned whether this was the same character as in the beginning.